Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Encyclopedia Dramatica



This is definitely an improvement over Wikipedia.

Evolution:

Evilution is an Atheist Lie designed to make people buy flu shots and be scared of the Swine flu. Evolution comes in two flavours (according to Tards): the observable phenomenon responsible for turning wolves into poodles and lions into lolcats, and the as-of-yet unobserved but still PROVEN!!!11 concept that we all originally came from apes, who all originally came from rats, who all originally came from fish, who all originally came from soup, which originally came from nothing. Thanks to the atheists' unceasing desire to convince the dull-witted masses of the latter form, said masses reject the former, making their quest even harder and thus resulting in epic irony and butthurt for the atheists who believe soup theory to be the key to killing Christianity and religion in general by proving we are all hairy, stupid, stinking monkeys.

In response to the Bible-trolling by basement-dwelling atheists everywhere, fundamentalist Christians wage an epic war against them wherever they may lurk, trying to prove they are NOT hairy, stupid, stinking monkeys. The ensuing battles between the Alliance and the Horde nearly always result in epic fail and bad science all around, go on for at least 100 pages, and have caused the deaths of over 9000 Wikipedia accounts.
Global Warming:

Global warming, or climate change, is a liberal conspiracy devised by Al Gore, treehugging hippies, and the electric car industry in order to gain political and financial power. Some argue that no one has ever actually seen global warming, pointing to the fact that said hippies probably imagined it while on LSD. (Plus, don't forget that there were at least 6 or 7 ICE AGES over the course of Earth's history.) All we have to do is keep burning shit, and we'll have enough carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to really change things. In fact, if another Ice Age does occur, then warming the earth with emissions will help reduce the catastrophic temperature drop.

Last Thursday Al Gore finally lost the argument by comparing Global Warming to Nazis. Seriously.

The supposed effects of global warming will not affect you in any way, so pollute as much as possible to troll the next generations.

3 comments:

Jeffery Keown said...

I'm leaving this comment to say "No Comment."

I don't want anyone thinking that I was absent, unavailable or comatose.

Posts as stupid as this do not warrant response; therefore, I am not leaving one.

Raptor Lewis said...

Echoing Jeffery Keown......

Quantum_Flux said...

Ditto, this post is retarded.